There was an average American family comprised of a Daddy, a Mommy, and 2.3 children (the national average). The Daddy and Mommy, however, were not average, a direct result of being Honors Students at the University of South Dakota (USD). It was because they were Honors Alumni that when the Daddy and Mommy decided to purchase a new house, they went straight back to USD to consult the renowned Professor Lehmann. Although neither the Daddy or the Mommy had opted to take Professor Lehmanns's Honors Western Civilizations class, taking instead the Comparative Civilizations class (both suffering from an acute phobia of epic poetry), they both had long heard of Professor Lehmann's famous knowledge of architecture from the beginning of history to the present.
"Professor Lehmann," queried the Daddy, "would you help us? You see, we are looking for a new home, and we want the architecture to be really classy."
"Classy? Classical!" Professor Lehmann explained. "I can certainly help you with that. Just jump into my handy-dandy private jet, and we'll be off."
Seemingly before the family could blink, they were out of the United States and into Athens, Greece, right in front of the Parthenon. "Well, what do you think?" Professor Lehmann inquired. "It certainly is classical."
"It certainly is. . . ." replied the Mommy uncertainly. "The problem is I am not quite sure it is what I would call a family house. There certainly is a lot of room to raise kids, but it just does not have that homey feeling."
"Plus, I believe it is probably a bit out of our price range," interjected the Daddy nervously.
"So you are looking for more of a family place?" Professor Lehmann considered for a moment and then clapped his hands. "I know just the place. Hop in!"
And almost before the last (.3) child could scramble into the jet, they were off to Greece.
"This is more like it!" exclaimed the Daddy. "I could get into this."
"But, honey," whispered the Mommy, "aren't we a little bit too far away from home? I mean I can see Europe, but Greece?"
"Hmmm . . . maybe you are right. I had not thought of that," he replied.
"Closer to home? Well, there are plenty of places there too," Professor Lehmann said. "I know of another place. Let's go." And before they knew what was happening, they were back at USD in front of East Hall.
"When you said 'closer to home', you weren't kidding!" exclaimed the Daddy.
"Well, it would be very convenient once the children start college, but I don't know . . ." the Mommy pondered. "I lived in Vermillion for three years, and I am not sure I want to again."
"I guess closer to home is not such a good idea," the Daddy agreed. He turned to Professor Lehmann. "Can you think of anywhere else?"
"I think so--we'll try again." So again, they were off--this time to Florence, Italy to the Santa Maria Novella.
"Wow! Very impressive," said the Mommy.
"Nice, isn't it?" asked Professor Lehmann. "A good and holy atmosphere in which to raise children with solid values. Even your .3 child should flourish nicely."
"It is very amazing," the Daddy said, "but it is also old. I mean, it has character and class, both things we are looking for, but the modernizing bills would be horrendous. To wire it for electricity alone . . . ."
Professor Lehmann sighed. "Let me guess. You want something newer."
The Mommy and Daddy traded glances. "Well, yes."
Again they all filed into the jet and soon were looking at the Palazzo Spada. "This is newer?" questioned the Mommy uncertainly. "I mean it is very nice, but when we said newer, I think we were both thinking . . . post World War II."
"Oh," Professor Lehmann replied. "In that case, you want a real estate agent, not a history professor. Why did you come to me?"
"Well," said the Daddy, "when we were in college, we heard your students say that you knew everything, including what happiness is. We figured that you could find us a home with great architecture that we could be happy in."
"Happiness?" Professor Lehmann's eyes lit up. "A house has nothing to do with happiness. Or maybe it does . . . . Do you think happiness can be found in material possessions? And have you read Virgil's Aeneid?"
Responding to their innate fear of epic poetry, the Mommy and Daddy gently disentangled themselves from the happiness discussion, gathered their 2.3 children together and left in search of a Century 21 representative.
Accredited Sources
A History of Western Architecture. Thames and Hudson; New York, 1986.
Mainstream of Civilization. Harcourt Brace College Publishers; New York, 1994.
Mango, Cyril. Byzantine Architecture. Harry N. Abrams, Inc.; New York, 1975.
Slides of architectual examples were provided by Professor Lehmann.
A special THANK YOU also goes out to Sheila Marie Lane!
