Back
Yeah,
but suppose the metaphor ran in the OTHER direction. Suppose the HIGHWAYS
were like the NET.
All right! Severe Craziness.
A Highway HUNDREDS of lanes wide.
Most with potholes.
Privately operated bridges and overpasses.
No highway patrol.
A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistles.
500 member VIGILANTE POSSES with nuclear weapons.
237 ON RAMPS at every intersection.
NO SIGNS.
Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out the window to a passing truck and ask
directions.
AD HOC traffic laws.
Some lanes would VOTE to make use by a single-occupant-vehicle a CAPITAL
OFFENSE on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would
just SHOOT you without a trial for talking on a car phone.
AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking BUS with hundreds of EBOLA victims and a TOILET spewing out on the road behind it. Throwing DEAD WOMBATS and rotten cabbage at other cars most of which have been ASSEMBLED AT HOME from kits.
Some are 2.5 horsepower LAWN MOWER ENGINES with a top speed of nine miles an hour. Others burn NITROGLYCERINE and IDLE at 120.
No license tags.
World War II BOMBER NOSE ART instead - terrifying paintings of huge teeth
or VAMPIRE EAGLES.
Bumper mounted MACHINE GUNS.
Flip somebody the finger on this highway ad get a WHITE PHOSPHORUS GRENADE
up your tailpipe.
Flatbed trucks with ANTI-AIRCRAFT MISSILE BATTERIES to shoot down the
KRUD traffic watch helicopter.
A little kid on a tricycle with a squirtgun filled with HYDROCHLORIC
ACID.
NO OFFRAMPS.
Now THATŐS the way to run an Interstate Highway system.
2867
bwjames@usd.edu
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