Things You Should Never Say To A Member of the LGBTIQ Community  

Intergroup communication is a challenging endeavor filled with mistakes, microaggressions, politics, and insensitivities.  Handled correctly, positive communication can lead to greater intergroup understanding and improved cross-cultural relationships.  In the spirit of promoting positive intergroup relations, below are some comments and questions you should never direct at members of the GLBTIQ community.

  • "How do you know you're gay if you've never been with a woman?"

  • "Gay guys love me!"

  • "I'm like a gay man trapped inside a woman's body."

  • "Wow. I never would have guessed that you're [gay, lesbian, bi, or transgender] you seem so straight."

  • "Why aren't there any pretty lesbians?"

  • "I suspected you were gay."

  • "I wouldn't want my son to be gay, just because life would be so much harder for him then."

  • "My boyfriend isn't homophobic, he's just uncomfortable around gay guys."

  • "Which bathroom do you use?"

  • "What do you like to do in bed?"

  • To a transgender person: "What's your real name? What did you used to look like?"

  • "It's too bad you're gay."

  • "Is one of you the husband and one the wife? I don't get it."

  • "Men are so awful/confusing/difficult, I wish I was a lesbian. It would be so much easier."

  • "This is my gay friend _____."

 Next Module: GLBTIQ ID Development